(70 mins) | Very excited to welcome the psychologist Dr. Barry Schwartz to the podcast today. Barry is famous for his research on choice (especially how, at a certain point, freedom of choice increases anxiety). In this conversation we touch on: comparison culture on social media, class differences when it comes to choice, the benefits and perils of individualism, political in-fighting, choice feminism (lol), dating and marriage (!), college admissions, and more. And I feel like we could have talked so much longer!
Hey! Making my way through this pod slowly but surely. I’ve 100% been eating up all your talk about commitment = community and freedom maybe not being all we pictured. I have LOVED working from home with no kids and no commitments due to the pandemic, total control over my schedule, but recently been feeling that lack of ‘something’ because of it. I read this note on freedom from Fragrance After Rain by Dr. Jaiya John, and it hit me in a way it wouldn’t have before I experienced the ‘no strings attached’ idea of freedom. “Freedom is not doing whatever you want to do. Freedom is existing in a simultaneous condition of not oppressing and not being oppressed.” So to turn that smaller and personal to me, I’ve now been thinking about what from the before times was merely limiting my choice vs what was oppressive. And also where I might have been acting as the oppressor. I’ll try to use this mindset as a guide for engaging again with commitments. Thanks for doing this newsletter/pod!
Finally got around to this ep and I'm definitely glad I kept it in the queue! I've benefitted from so much luck in my life, and i've gotten a peek behind the curtain at these faux elite institutions that get off on exclusivity...grateful for you both shedding light on this.
Sidenote: I followed your rec on Bittman's bread recipe this morning. Even as someone with very little kitchen competence, I managed to not fuck it up! Thanks for sharing.
Hey Haley, not sure if you'll even see this considering how late I am to the party but I loved loved this ep — it was so insightful. I wished Barry finished his thought about what was so troubling about Marry Him!! Do you think it was essentially about the job not being the search? Would also love to hear your thoughts on the book. :-)
Really enjoyed this episode! I've listened to other podcasts featuring Barry and I especially liked this one because of the little moments where generational differences in beliefs, etc would come up. I think about the paradox of choice mostly in the context of choosing a partner and I am so glad you discussed this! There is always the possibility of someone else being a better partner but also the possibility of the relationship improving (to an extent...).
This was really heartwarming in an unexpected way. The part about luck rang true and made me feel really grateful. And the end made me feel hopeful. Now let’s redistribute that wealth!
This was such a good thought provoking episode Haley. I have so much reading to do now 🙂
Loved this one ! Found the discussion very interesting and very helpful ( TBH still thinking about it and processing)
Yasssss this is the content I've been waiting for (just in my own life)!!!!!! Would have loved to share this one with friends to try to convince them to describe so that then I can discuss it with them haha. Inherently selfish!
Loved this! Do you consider making this one public? Would love to share, but it’s your choice! (Get it)
This was cute!! He sounds so lovely!! As for the idea of the 'veil of ignorance', (marxist?) feminists have argued that while Rawls pretends to take on a neutral position in his work, but the person behind his 'veil' actually has a desire for wealth, and property, and is a (probably male) individualist. Rawls disregards outcomes of a 'perfect world' in which community, togetherness, caring for one another, through the destruction of class, will lead to the best outcome for all. this is beautifully explained in Matsuda's "Liberal Jurisprudence and Abstracted Visions of Human Nature" if you're interested :)
Reframing my imposter syndrome as winning the luck lottery. I don’t deserve my success, but nobody does! 🤪