(80 mins) | I asked my good friend Harling Ross to come back onto the podcast today to discuss Leslie Jamison’s essay “Dreaming in Broad Daylight” for Astra Mag, which we both loved. This conversation is about the piece specifically, but also about what it means to write honestly (versus “authentically” or through confession), why a lot of modern writing falls short, and in the last segment, what we secretly daydream about, no holds barred. We also randomly talk about going to the gym…
Late to comment on this but have been thinking about it recently. I have stopped daydreaming, not willingly. It's like a jolt as soon as my mind wanders. It just stops. Don't know how to fix it, I used to daydream all the time, and was something I looked forward to before bed for many years. I had such a vivid and romantic inner life, I feel like I've lost something.
Thank you for this! I find it deeply interesting who we give detail or broad strokes to. I spent a lot of today telling various people about my request to change my job role at work. Who were the people I did unbend my pride for and give examples of things that had been going wrong at work, because I actually wanted to receive an honest confirmation that I had made the correct decision, and not just a shallow explanation that would leave their "you've made the right choice, you'll do great in the new role!" wholly invalidating.
On a more gossipy note for getting this far: my most enduring daydream is where Harry Styles and I deliver a stranger's baby in my building (IRL I am a midwife), and I find out we are neighbours. But maybe that was why fanfiction.net was invented..
thanks to early 00s rom coms I was convinced that moving in slow motion was key to someone falling in love with you. It took me years to stop doing things in slow motion around my crushes and I can’t say I’ve fully stopped.
This was one of my favorite episodes, hands down! Loved both your reads on the essay. I love daydreaming but don't spent a lot of time reflecting on them; listening to this made me realize one daydream I have is of sending different things I read to people I know and the conversations we would have about them! This made me literally laugh out loud at my office today.
May 18, 2022·edited May 18, 2022Liked by Haley Nahman
I really enjoyed this episode! It made me think about daydreaming in the context of OCD (https://www.instagram.com/p/CdsFb4CvcOo/), and how our fantasies can also indicate our discomfort with uncertainty.
This was such a rich episode! I loved every second of this conversation, especially as someone who used to feel a lot of shame around my romantic daydreaming as a young adult (which I technically still am). Early in college, something about romantic daydreaming felt un-feminist (bear with me) and/or naïve to me? To spend significant time daydreaming about the comfort and support (as well as the fun and excitement) of a romantic relationship to pull me through stressful times instead of daydreaming about how I would pull through whatever the situation was on my own. I know there’s a lot to unpack there, but several trusted people (my therapist, a mentor) reminded me that this type of daydreaming is essentially a survival skill. It’s distraction tactics, it’s trying on a different version of yourself. Everyone does it and like you said, it’s borderline unhealthy if you don’t
Loved both of your reads so much ! Made me think more abt the line in the piece abt daydreaming being inherently unproductive but often circling capital / capitalistic ideals ..
also reminded me of this Sheila heti essay I swear I’ve sent you before about the daydream of online shopping (particularly the moment of potentiality before ur purchase arrives )
Late to comment on this but have been thinking about it recently. I have stopped daydreaming, not willingly. It's like a jolt as soon as my mind wanders. It just stops. Don't know how to fix it, I used to daydream all the time, and was something I looked forward to before bed for many years. I had such a vivid and romantic inner life, I feel like I've lost something.
deeply obsessed with the idea of daydreams! wrote about it in connection with post-traumatic which is a novel i think you’d love. VERY page turn-y. https://disconapbooks.substack.com/p/disco-napping-no-4?s=r
Thank you for this! I find it deeply interesting who we give detail or broad strokes to. I spent a lot of today telling various people about my request to change my job role at work. Who were the people I did unbend my pride for and give examples of things that had been going wrong at work, because I actually wanted to receive an honest confirmation that I had made the correct decision, and not just a shallow explanation that would leave their "you've made the right choice, you'll do great in the new role!" wholly invalidating.
On a more gossipy note for getting this far: my most enduring daydream is where Harry Styles and I deliver a stranger's baby in my building (IRL I am a midwife), and I find out we are neighbours. But maybe that was why fanfiction.net was invented..
I really enjoyed this podcast! Was a great discussion.
thanks to early 00s rom coms I was convinced that moving in slow motion was key to someone falling in love with you. It took me years to stop doing things in slow motion around my crushes and I can’t say I’ve fully stopped.
That Tad Hamilton 6 smiles stuff really fucked a lot of us up huh
This was one of my favorite episodes, hands down! Loved both your reads on the essay. I love daydreaming but don't spent a lot of time reflecting on them; listening to this made me realize one daydream I have is of sending different things I read to people I know and the conversations we would have about them! This made me literally laugh out loud at my office today.
I really enjoyed this episode! It made me think about daydreaming in the context of OCD (https://www.instagram.com/p/CdsFb4CvcOo/), and how our fantasies can also indicate our discomfort with uncertainty.
This was such a rich episode! I loved every second of this conversation, especially as someone who used to feel a lot of shame around my romantic daydreaming as a young adult (which I technically still am). Early in college, something about romantic daydreaming felt un-feminist (bear with me) and/or naïve to me? To spend significant time daydreaming about the comfort and support (as well as the fun and excitement) of a romantic relationship to pull me through stressful times instead of daydreaming about how I would pull through whatever the situation was on my own. I know there’s a lot to unpack there, but several trusted people (my therapist, a mentor) reminded me that this type of daydreaming is essentially a survival skill. It’s distraction tactics, it’s trying on a different version of yourself. Everyone does it and like you said, it’s borderline unhealthy if you don’t
Loved both of your reads so much ! Made me think more abt the line in the piece abt daydreaming being inherently unproductive but often circling capital / capitalistic ideals ..
also reminded me of this Sheila heti essay I swear I’ve sent you before about the daydream of online shopping (particularly the moment of potentiality before ur purchase arrives )
http://www.affidavit.art/articles/shop-or-stop-shopping
You and Harling have such great rapport. I loved this episode, I realized at some point I was smiling along with you at my desk, so embarrassing lol