I want to have a little Brooklyn baby meetup! If you live in Brooklyn and have a baby under 1, drop your email in the below form and I’ll send out a note suggesting a time/place to hang out in a park. Will be keeping this very casual to start!!
Focusing on newer/local parents just because that’s what I’m personally looking for, but if someone wants to kick off a separate thread that includes a wider range please do!!
Maybe obvious but: Before you comment your location, take a scroll through and see if someone has already called it out! That way we can try to keep cities generally threaded together. Also, if you're down to collect emails for your city to plan a meet up, feel free to drop your email address or a form in your comment! (Also totally fine if you don't want to do that.)
Making friends is actually my key skill in life. I'm 35, moved to a different country once and city 3 times since I've been an adult. So I've done it a bunch and now I'm confident! My key tips:
1) "friends for a reason and friends for a season"- a saying we all know about our more fleeting friendships but around a specific incident. Don't make the mistake of thinking purpose inspired friendships aren't "real" during or after them- they're still a gift, to be treasured, valued and grateful for.
2) if you are somewhere new and you want to make friends, you have to humble yourself and also not become bitter. The people there probably feel they have enough friends and aren't actively seeking friendship. No worries! It doesn't mean they won't take it when it comes. It just means you have to be on the front foot, making the effort at the start.
3) make friends around shared activities (work or hobbies) or, most easily, I found, around having kids. When you meet someone you want to be friends with, be chatty and interested. If the conversation lulls, ask a question about themselves ("so did you go to school around here?/ What was it like growing up on a farm?/ How do you like your area of work?").
4) be forthcoming to ask would they like to get coffee sometime. It's not as weird or embarrassing as you think it is.
5) the first solo hang out will probably be a little awkward. It doesn't mean the friendship is doomed. It is just something new! Once you're past the initial meeting stages, things get easier. Don't give up now.
6) in saying that- don't give everything to brand new friendships. If it turns out you're not compatible, you want enough caution that you can drift apart naturally.
7) the first person who is very friendly in a new town, is a psycho. That's the rule. I stand by it.
I'm 62. I've done this over and over in childhood and in my adult life, most recently 14 yrs ago when we moved to a small town in New Hampshire, when I was 48. I also have a lousy memory but I distinctly recall the feeling, felt over months and months, of knowing no one and having no support when in the summer of the next year my husband had major cancer surgery in a city 2+ hours from us and I was on my own to do everything. By the summer of the next year, I had met a few people and then through one of them I attended a one-off book discussion group in a library in another small town and met a bunch of people, almost all of whom became friends and some of them close friends and the mainstays of more groups that proliferated and brought more friendships. Some of those people have died (in their 80s), some have moved far away but are still close friends, and some remain here. I was so helped by several women who are absolute powerhouses of friend matchmaking and of inclusion of new and unattached people to groups. Now I am the one introducing friends to other friends and new groups, though not with the energy, determination, and intention of those women, whom I truly bless.
This is in sharp contrast to when we moved to our first home in Maine, when I was 32, where I lived for 8 yrs, served on the library and town boards, and made exactly one friend (plus we liked our two neighbours). That was a lonely time and led to our moving to another town in Maine, where things went much better and I still have close friends from that time and place.
Sometimes it's luck. Sometimes it's the existence of other women (mostly) who are willing and able to saturate you with opportunities for meeting other people. If you have kids, work, go to church, etc., there are more opportunities, but if like me you don't, you have to be looking for them, and then if you're lucky there's a tipping point where you become the connection.
“ you're actually more likely to be working your way into some kind of molten core of deeper compatibility with people you'll meet once you're more ingrained in your town.”
Been in nyc 2+ years! And would love to meet up <3
Crown heights, Brooklyn gal here! Hi! All of this is so spot on and really resonates with my deeper reckoning of how tricky it can be to build community in general (or how it’s hard to build community without having to pay $ for it)
I just want to have dinner parties and dance parties—without needing to be one of the “cool” kids—and also art nights and picnics. I want friends nearby who I can call when I need a hard to find ingredient or someone to pop by to snuggle my kitty when I’m away.
So if any of you live in central Brooklyn close-ish to Prospect Park (I live closer to Brower) I’d love to organize a hang :)
As of today, I’ve lived in Oakland, California for one year and ten days. Would be happy to organize an East Bay (+SF?) Maybe Baby meetup! If anyone’s interested, drop your email or send it to me at emilyarmstead@gmail.com.
I want to have a little Brooklyn baby meetup! If you live in Brooklyn and have a baby under 1, drop your email in the below form and I’ll send out a note suggesting a time/place to hang out in a park. Will be keeping this very casual to start!!
https://forms.gle/aqY8egBKWAiXettHA
Focusing on newer/local parents just because that’s what I’m personally looking for, but if someone wants to kick off a separate thread that includes a wider range please do!!
Maybe obvious but: Before you comment your location, take a scroll through and see if someone has already called it out! That way we can try to keep cities generally threaded together. Also, if you're down to collect emails for your city to plan a meet up, feel free to drop your email address or a form in your comment! (Also totally fine if you don't want to do that.)
Making friends is actually my key skill in life. I'm 35, moved to a different country once and city 3 times since I've been an adult. So I've done it a bunch and now I'm confident! My key tips:
1) "friends for a reason and friends for a season"- a saying we all know about our more fleeting friendships but around a specific incident. Don't make the mistake of thinking purpose inspired friendships aren't "real" during or after them- they're still a gift, to be treasured, valued and grateful for.
2) if you are somewhere new and you want to make friends, you have to humble yourself and also not become bitter. The people there probably feel they have enough friends and aren't actively seeking friendship. No worries! It doesn't mean they won't take it when it comes. It just means you have to be on the front foot, making the effort at the start.
3) make friends around shared activities (work or hobbies) or, most easily, I found, around having kids. When you meet someone you want to be friends with, be chatty and interested. If the conversation lulls, ask a question about themselves ("so did you go to school around here?/ What was it like growing up on a farm?/ How do you like your area of work?").
4) be forthcoming to ask would they like to get coffee sometime. It's not as weird or embarrassing as you think it is.
5) the first solo hang out will probably be a little awkward. It doesn't mean the friendship is doomed. It is just something new! Once you're past the initial meeting stages, things get easier. Don't give up now.
6) in saying that- don't give everything to brand new friendships. If it turns out you're not compatible, you want enough caution that you can drift apart naturally.
7) the first person who is very friendly in a new town, is a psycho. That's the rule. I stand by it.
I'm 62. I've done this over and over in childhood and in my adult life, most recently 14 yrs ago when we moved to a small town in New Hampshire, when I was 48. I also have a lousy memory but I distinctly recall the feeling, felt over months and months, of knowing no one and having no support when in the summer of the next year my husband had major cancer surgery in a city 2+ hours from us and I was on my own to do everything. By the summer of the next year, I had met a few people and then through one of them I attended a one-off book discussion group in a library in another small town and met a bunch of people, almost all of whom became friends and some of them close friends and the mainstays of more groups that proliferated and brought more friendships. Some of those people have died (in their 80s), some have moved far away but are still close friends, and some remain here. I was so helped by several women who are absolute powerhouses of friend matchmaking and of inclusion of new and unattached people to groups. Now I am the one introducing friends to other friends and new groups, though not with the energy, determination, and intention of those women, whom I truly bless.
This is in sharp contrast to when we moved to our first home in Maine, when I was 32, where I lived for 8 yrs, served on the library and town boards, and made exactly one friend (plus we liked our two neighbours). That was a lonely time and led to our moving to another town in Maine, where things went much better and I still have close friends from that time and place.
Sometimes it's luck. Sometimes it's the existence of other women (mostly) who are willing and able to saturate you with opportunities for meeting other people. If you have kids, work, go to church, etc., there are more opportunities, but if like me you don't, you have to be looking for them, and then if you're lucky there's a tipping point where you become the connection.
“ you're actually more likely to be working your way into some kind of molten core of deeper compatibility with people you'll meet once you're more ingrained in your town.”
Been in nyc 2+ years! And would love to meet up <3
EDIT: happy to connect us via email! Submit your email here https://forms.gle/bqqHuZvmMVYon62m7
LA ☀️
Crown heights, Brooklyn gal here! Hi! All of this is so spot on and really resonates with my deeper reckoning of how tricky it can be to build community in general (or how it’s hard to build community without having to pay $ for it)
I just want to have dinner parties and dance parties—without needing to be one of the “cool” kids—and also art nights and picnics. I want friends nearby who I can call when I need a hard to find ingredient or someone to pop by to snuggle my kitty when I’m away.
So if any of you live in central Brooklyn close-ish to Prospect Park (I live closer to Brower) I’d love to organize a hang :)
Long shot, but could be so lovely meeting up with fellow readers in Bergen, Norway!
London! 🇬🇧
Washington, DC! Adams Morgan 🌞
adding Chicago to this list!
Anyone living in Austin TX??
Boston (JP), MA! 33 and iso folks who wanna lay down in the arboretum and eat cheese.
As of today, I’ve lived in Oakland, California for one year and ten days. Would be happy to organize an East Bay (+SF?) Maybe Baby meetup! If anyone’s interested, drop your email or send it to me at emilyarmstead@gmail.com.
In Melbourne, Australia! Moved here from South Africa a few months ago. Would love to make more friends here.
Montreal, Canada ! Would love to meet other subscribers ❤️❤️