I knew I’d jumped some kind of shark last week when I told Avi I was thinking of taking a sliver of an old Adderall I had laying around. I don’t even drink coffee anymore for fear of getting too anxious, but the thought of sitting down another day in front of a blank page made me want to change my name and move to the woods. He gave me a look I couldn’t quite place. Eyebrows raised in surprise or maybe suspicion. “It might help!” I said defensively.
I want to quickly respond to your concern that you might be transmitting bad vibes and hence that maybe you should shut down the newsletter.
The only thing I want to say is that I really hope you don’t because your newsletter is something I look forward to all week. To me, your writing doesn’t transmit negativity, rather, it does what you predicted a few weeks back ie. it gives colour to all the things we might be feeling in these unprecedented times and hence does a whole lot of good.
just here to leave a humble comment about how your sunday newsletter is always something to look forward to. your essays are always the best company and a big thank you because being lazy and prone to procrastination i rarely read as much as articles or essays i’d like to and you always have the best suggestions in relation to what you’re reading. as phoebe bridgers would say i feel like a “punisher” for leaving a comment like this one but good work must always get congratulated!
Hi from a Bed Stuy neighbor! Funnily enough, I deleted my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter the Friday before the election because I was experiencing a lot of anxiety about political unrest and my personal safety. I fully intended on returning to them after the results were called, but I’ve stayed off. It’s provided a respite from the anger and anxiety I feel seeing people not take covid seriously. I haven’t seen my family for more than a year and my partner for more than 8 months (he works in healthcare), and it’s so frustrating to see people going to weddings, traveling unnecessarily, or even just being able to make big life choices like getting a pet, a new house, or getting married. Social media is always a constant reminder of what we don’t have, and since it’s such a highlight reel, we’re not seeing the uniquely devastating ways the pandemic has impacted people, which I honestly think is leading to a lot of resentment. Historically I have gotten a lot of enjoyment from social media and love seeing joy, cool art, and fun moments, but lately, it has felt harder and harder to find the good. Who knows! Maybe I’ll never go back. Anyway, I really enjoyed your newsletter today and appreciate your perspective!
I feel relieved reading this after a tough morning (first law school exam tomorrow but profs may also go on strike tomorrow and mounting covid cases in my Canadian province of Manitoba aka the usual). Thanks for your words and having someone to relate to on a weirdly close level, it is appreciated from another mildly depressed person.
Serious question though, what shampoo were you referring to?? Forever searching for the best scalp shampoo. Sadly, haven't met my match yet.
Once again, thank you for an honest newsletter that continues to make me feel human (the good, the bad, and the mundane). The eagerness to receive this in my inbox each week is riveting. Having a space outside of social media to consume is so special, and I hope to find more ways to do that (your list helps!). I’ve been ok lately—absorbed in thoughts, obsessed with memories, addicted to social media, trying to play music again, rekindling my love for space age fashion, recognizing the importance of connecting more directly with close friends, family, and local community...and of course, embracing those adult tantrums! 💛
Maybe Baby is now part of my Sunday morning routine, and every week I welcome your newsletter as if I had a visit with a great friend. I understand it’s frustrating to stare at a blank page, but as a reader I accept where you are that week. You are only human, and you should be allowed to be in a bad mood or feel anxious. 2020 has been a crazy year. You could send us your grocery list and I would eagerly read it.
I woke up this morning to a really beautiful, clear sky here in London (I'm sure you can imagine that this is kind of abnormal for November, esp after the past few days). The sky turned dark gray as I was reading your newsletter. My desk is positioned in a bay window and in the small window to the right, it was pitch black outside, while the sky in the left window was the colour of pale urine. Then it started to pour. By the time I finished reading your newsletter, it cleared up again and the sky is a pale blue. That is how I'm feeling.
My partner seemed upset with me last night for not wanting to do the things that usually make me feel better (meditating) or bring me joy (being outside and going for walks). That Jess Zimmerman article made me feel so understood - particularly as my mum's voice is running thru my head as accusing me of throwing a "snit fit" which is, quite frankly, rude. Anyways, your newsletter and the comment section and all your reccs are like a gigantic group therapy session where I feel understood and marginally less alone which really isn't to be underestimated during a stupid time
I promise you, I don't mind if you're in a bad mood. I enjoy your newsletter each week. I look forward to it. I get so excited to consume the 15 things you consumed this week. After I write this comment, I'm going to read the articles you've linked. We want to be here, I want to be here. Be you. I like you, in all your moods. From one struggling human to another. Hang in there, Haley! :)
Hello! I don't think you are transmitting negative energy, if anything it's comforting. Your newsletter has become a much loved ritual of my otherwise increasingly disorientating Sundays (we're back in 'lockdown' here in the UK). It's funny you said you've been looking at your own photos, I also deleted my Twitter and Insta apps recently and have found myself mindlessly scrolling through my camera roll. Strange to transfer that compulsion for visual stimulants over there isn't it? Anyway, thanks for your beautiful writing, as ever x
Hi Haley! Long time reader, first time commenter... I'll also mention that I am based in Europe, just because many others have mentioned they're also based on this side of the Atlantic, hi all!
Last weekend I also decided to go on a mini digital detox... I had Covid a few weeks back, and while I recovered with no apparent consequences, it sent me into an unprecedented rabbit hole of internet consumption. Being in isolation alone at home, looking up symptoms, and being too tired to do anything else, I ended up spending 9+ hours a day on my phone. Not good. And as soon as I recovered, I kept checking the news for the US elections.
So last weekend I went somewhere closer to nature, and I forced myself to use my phone only to take photos and check whatsapp (my Italian mum would worry too much if I didn't give news for more than a half day...) The result? I was a mess. Clearly Instagram and doomscrolling are an addiction; they are a distraction, a way to lose time I would otherwise spend looking at the anxious vortex of my thoughts. I expected to go around walking in the nature and be all cheerful and happy, and then go home and do something creative... Instead, it was tough, and lead to a big Saturday night meltdown. But I needed to do it, avoiding my own feelings will not work forever, so I will try to do some more quick digital detox weekends soon.
I don't want to be a drag for much longer, but to sum it up... You are not alone in this. Thanks for giving voice to your feelings, I feel less alone in this too. And sorry for all the deleted comments, they were mine and I kept messing up with the formatting. Thanks Haley! 🙏🏼
Came to the comments to recommend “How to Do Nothing” by Jenny O’Dell. I’ve been recommending it to everybody lately because it seems like we’re all going through the same social media hell. If you haven’t read it, the book is a really good anti-capitalist criticism of social media, things that look public but are actually privately run for profit, and argument for doing more things in real life with real people. And she talks about bird watching a lot 🐣
I like your moods and vibes in whatever form they come in. Shooting for a particularly pleasant or neutral mood feels itchy to me because I don't operate that way as a super sensitive person, and with your insight, I can't imagine you do either. The ick and the stick is natural, no matter the pressing circumstances of the world.
PS your bit about the movie trailer feeling broke me into 100 delicious pieces.
Your paragraph about sitting in the movie theatre and exchanging looks during the trailers really hit me. Thank you for perfectly evoking such a vivid (and dearly missed) memory.
Also, echoing so many others here in saying that I look forward to your newsletter every Sunday, no matter what mood you're in, or what mood I'm in either. It's like a standing weekly check-in with an old friend.
I also deleted Instagram and Facebook this week! As a leftist, I just couldn’t stomach the glorification of a prosecutor by folks who ostensibly support BLM. (Insta specifically was also just clearly a parasite feeding off my joy and leaving me feeling sick by the time I peeled my eyes away from its maw.) The worrying thing is that I lasted thru the election but was most disheartened once my democrat peers were... happy. Celebrating. That should have been nice to see right? I mean I too was (slightly) relieved.
Hi Haley! I never feel a transmission of bad vibes from your newsletter, in fact your writing always makes me feel like so much is possible and always always gives me a fresh perspective especially when it comes to leftist thinking. Thank you so much for doing this work! I hope you have a great week. xoxo Willa
Hi Haley,
I want to quickly respond to your concern that you might be transmitting bad vibes and hence that maybe you should shut down the newsletter.
The only thing I want to say is that I really hope you don’t because your newsletter is something I look forward to all week. To me, your writing doesn’t transmit negativity, rather, it does what you predicted a few weeks back ie. it gives colour to all the things we might be feeling in these unprecedented times and hence does a whole lot of good.
Have a wonderful week!
Love from Belgium,
Eva x
Haley hi!
just here to leave a humble comment about how your sunday newsletter is always something to look forward to. your essays are always the best company and a big thank you because being lazy and prone to procrastination i rarely read as much as articles or essays i’d like to and you always have the best suggestions in relation to what you’re reading. as phoebe bridgers would say i feel like a “punisher” for leaving a comment like this one but good work must always get congratulated!
have a great week,
greetings from greece!
marianna xx
Hi from a Bed Stuy neighbor! Funnily enough, I deleted my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter the Friday before the election because I was experiencing a lot of anxiety about political unrest and my personal safety. I fully intended on returning to them after the results were called, but I’ve stayed off. It’s provided a respite from the anger and anxiety I feel seeing people not take covid seriously. I haven’t seen my family for more than a year and my partner for more than 8 months (he works in healthcare), and it’s so frustrating to see people going to weddings, traveling unnecessarily, or even just being able to make big life choices like getting a pet, a new house, or getting married. Social media is always a constant reminder of what we don’t have, and since it’s such a highlight reel, we’re not seeing the uniquely devastating ways the pandemic has impacted people, which I honestly think is leading to a lot of resentment. Historically I have gotten a lot of enjoyment from social media and love seeing joy, cool art, and fun moments, but lately, it has felt harder and harder to find the good. Who knows! Maybe I’ll never go back. Anyway, I really enjoyed your newsletter today and appreciate your perspective!
I feel relieved reading this after a tough morning (first law school exam tomorrow but profs may also go on strike tomorrow and mounting covid cases in my Canadian province of Manitoba aka the usual). Thanks for your words and having someone to relate to on a weirdly close level, it is appreciated from another mildly depressed person.
Serious question though, what shampoo were you referring to?? Forever searching for the best scalp shampoo. Sadly, haven't met my match yet.
I appreciate you!
Megan
Once again, thank you for an honest newsletter that continues to make me feel human (the good, the bad, and the mundane). The eagerness to receive this in my inbox each week is riveting. Having a space outside of social media to consume is so special, and I hope to find more ways to do that (your list helps!). I’ve been ok lately—absorbed in thoughts, obsessed with memories, addicted to social media, trying to play music again, rekindling my love for space age fashion, recognizing the importance of connecting more directly with close friends, family, and local community...and of course, embracing those adult tantrums! 💛
Maybe Baby is now part of my Sunday morning routine, and every week I welcome your newsletter as if I had a visit with a great friend. I understand it’s frustrating to stare at a blank page, but as a reader I accept where you are that week. You are only human, and you should be allowed to be in a bad mood or feel anxious. 2020 has been a crazy year. You could send us your grocery list and I would eagerly read it.
I woke up this morning to a really beautiful, clear sky here in London (I'm sure you can imagine that this is kind of abnormal for November, esp after the past few days). The sky turned dark gray as I was reading your newsletter. My desk is positioned in a bay window and in the small window to the right, it was pitch black outside, while the sky in the left window was the colour of pale urine. Then it started to pour. By the time I finished reading your newsletter, it cleared up again and the sky is a pale blue. That is how I'm feeling.
My partner seemed upset with me last night for not wanting to do the things that usually make me feel better (meditating) or bring me joy (being outside and going for walks). That Jess Zimmerman article made me feel so understood - particularly as my mum's voice is running thru my head as accusing me of throwing a "snit fit" which is, quite frankly, rude. Anyways, your newsletter and the comment section and all your reccs are like a gigantic group therapy session where I feel understood and marginally less alone which really isn't to be underestimated during a stupid time
I promise you, I don't mind if you're in a bad mood. I enjoy your newsletter each week. I look forward to it. I get so excited to consume the 15 things you consumed this week. After I write this comment, I'm going to read the articles you've linked. We want to be here, I want to be here. Be you. I like you, in all your moods. From one struggling human to another. Hang in there, Haley! :)
Hello! I don't think you are transmitting negative energy, if anything it's comforting. Your newsletter has become a much loved ritual of my otherwise increasingly disorientating Sundays (we're back in 'lockdown' here in the UK). It's funny you said you've been looking at your own photos, I also deleted my Twitter and Insta apps recently and have found myself mindlessly scrolling through my camera roll. Strange to transfer that compulsion for visual stimulants over there isn't it? Anyway, thanks for your beautiful writing, as ever x
Hi Haley! Long time reader, first time commenter... I'll also mention that I am based in Europe, just because many others have mentioned they're also based on this side of the Atlantic, hi all!
Last weekend I also decided to go on a mini digital detox... I had Covid a few weeks back, and while I recovered with no apparent consequences, it sent me into an unprecedented rabbit hole of internet consumption. Being in isolation alone at home, looking up symptoms, and being too tired to do anything else, I ended up spending 9+ hours a day on my phone. Not good. And as soon as I recovered, I kept checking the news for the US elections.
So last weekend I went somewhere closer to nature, and I forced myself to use my phone only to take photos and check whatsapp (my Italian mum would worry too much if I didn't give news for more than a half day...) The result? I was a mess. Clearly Instagram and doomscrolling are an addiction; they are a distraction, a way to lose time I would otherwise spend looking at the anxious vortex of my thoughts. I expected to go around walking in the nature and be all cheerful and happy, and then go home and do something creative... Instead, it was tough, and lead to a big Saturday night meltdown. But I needed to do it, avoiding my own feelings will not work forever, so I will try to do some more quick digital detox weekends soon.
I don't want to be a drag for much longer, but to sum it up... You are not alone in this. Thanks for giving voice to your feelings, I feel less alone in this too. And sorry for all the deleted comments, they were mine and I kept messing up with the formatting. Thanks Haley! 🙏🏼
Came to the comments to recommend “How to Do Nothing” by Jenny O’Dell. I’ve been recommending it to everybody lately because it seems like we’re all going through the same social media hell. If you haven’t read it, the book is a really good anti-capitalist criticism of social media, things that look public but are actually privately run for profit, and argument for doing more things in real life with real people. And she talks about bird watching a lot 🐣
I like your moods and vibes in whatever form they come in. Shooting for a particularly pleasant or neutral mood feels itchy to me because I don't operate that way as a super sensitive person, and with your insight, I can't imagine you do either. The ick and the stick is natural, no matter the pressing circumstances of the world.
PS your bit about the movie trailer feeling broke me into 100 delicious pieces.
Your paragraph about sitting in the movie theatre and exchanging looks during the trailers really hit me. Thank you for perfectly evoking such a vivid (and dearly missed) memory.
Also, echoing so many others here in saying that I look forward to your newsletter every Sunday, no matter what mood you're in, or what mood I'm in either. It's like a standing weekly check-in with an old friend.
I also deleted Instagram and Facebook this week! As a leftist, I just couldn’t stomach the glorification of a prosecutor by folks who ostensibly support BLM. (Insta specifically was also just clearly a parasite feeding off my joy and leaving me feeling sick by the time I peeled my eyes away from its maw.) The worrying thing is that I lasted thru the election but was most disheartened once my democrat peers were... happy. Celebrating. That should have been nice to see right? I mean I too was (slightly) relieved.
Hi Haley! I never feel a transmission of bad vibes from your newsletter, in fact your writing always makes me feel like so much is possible and always always gives me a fresh perspective especially when it comes to leftist thinking. Thank you so much for doing this work! I hope you have a great week. xoxo Willa
Me too re: yet another bag of white cheddar Cheeto Puffs.