This post just killed me with goodness, truth, and hilarity. Choked and laughed out coffee over ‘logical cover story’. All of these are spot on. Thank you.
I’ve heard elastic mood happens because a lot of the brain doesn’t really understand time that well, and the bits that do are the complex ones that shut down under stress— so our idea of the past and future in the moment get interpreted as the actual past and future we really live through, although these are different things.
I think “the way the past and future seem in a single moment” and “the actual past and future, which consists of these moments themselves” are often mixed up and used interchangeably, in our minds and in the discourse. I’ve been a bit more able to cope with crushing moments of despair after realising this. It feels obvious now but I didn’t really notice it, and I don’t know what the word for that is either
I met a boy at a club in Rio while on a 3-week spring break trip. The number of things that had to go wrong in order for us to meet makes it seem like fate. My trip was originally planned for January, he decided to stay in Rio for longer only at the last minute, I went to that club only because someone I had just met dragged me there, I met him only because that other someone had to leave early. This boy and I spent the full three weeks together, and one particular moment really drives home the feeling of the Starr-Nicholas effect.
After spending a full day together - first at the beach, then at a museum, and finally walking around the port - we got in an uber heading toward dinner. This uber ride felt like a different dimension. The driver, who spoke no english, had on old classics like "Can't Help Falling in Love" and "Kiss to Build a Dream On," and these songs just perfectly captured this feeling of newfound love. We had nothing to worry about, and nothing on our minds but this wonderful day. As we held hands and told each other sweet things, it seemed like the songs would come in at our heels and sing those same lines we had just spoken out loud. The restaurant was far and the ride was a long one, but the entire time I could hear nothing other than the sound of his voice and the sweetness of this music. It felt like I was in a perfectly curated movie scene, and even in the moment I could not believe how perfectly ideal it all was. I am so lucky to have crossed paths with him, and though the trip is over I know moments like this will live forever.
I never knew I was a “freak for nomenclature” but after reading your article all I can think of is how I wish I had a friend who thinks as deeply as you do about what’s going on the world.
Also...could you think of a word or phrase that represents the feeling of when you are traveling and you find yourself in a place so beautiful you feel like you are dreaming because it couldn’t possibly be real/true?
something i notice so often! an example that i regretfully think of all the time is when taylor swift’s folklore album came out, which has a song called “the last great american dynasty” about the past owner of one of taylor’s vacation homes. this writer on twitter (who shall remain anonymous but has a significant following) was like, “this is actually an interesting story about so and so who lived in this house in the 1920s” and did a whole thread about her and what she was like and expounded on some of the events taylor describes in the song, as if these were facts they had learned ages ago, independently of the song, and had not just googled her like the rest of us. i was like, “yeah…i read that article about her yesterday too…” this sounds so stupid but was so annoying! or maybe it was a normal thing to do and i’m just jealous of her twitter following and my bitter bias is showing…
Fender Bender Energy! It’s what I call it when you are having one of those days where you sleep through your alarm, miss a button on your shirt, trip getting out the door, forget a phone call, miss a turn, etc etc etc and it just kind of cascades into the day creating a generally chaotic vibe around you. I love adding/coming up with new terms for things so this was an especially fun post to read.
love these, especially elastic mood. one of mine is the prom date approach: when someone's efforts to find a romantic partner is just a pursuit of someone who is equal to them on a few important social metrics (attractiveness, professional success, perceived coolness etc). Like how high schoolers select their prom date based on who in their class is their (often at this stage, at least when I was in high school) opposite sex counterpart in terms of popularity. The prom date approach mistakes someone's compatibility with your brand with their compatibility with you...though maybe this is just an overly complicated way to call someone superficial???
In junior high my best friend and I came up with the term comforter club. Someone is in the comforter club if they are so tender, pure, adorable, and/or earnest that you want to wrap them in the softest, warmest comforter and squeeze them. While it’s a bit hard to describe once you know the term you also know exactly when you find someone it applies to. Members of the comforter club are rare but wonderful!
maybe this term will be controversial, but my husband & i came up with one the other day: “gossip for the greater good.” it’s when someone is using moral high ground to mask the fact that they really just want to gossip about someone else’s messy situation. ie: “she DMed me to tell me that a friend i tagged knows a dude who’s a bad guy. instead of keeping this info to herself because it has literally nothing to do with me, she wanted to gossip for the greater good.”
Bitter bias reminds me of a certain post by you where you talked about Kim kardashian celebrating her birthday in the middle of a pandemic and the public feeling sort of left out and criticizing her for that.
Love/relate to these terms so much! I work as a seasonal Park Ranger and elastic mood defines so much of how I talk about a particularly difficult season... I'll be so extreme to saying "worst 6 months of my life" when in reality, every season has countless ups and downs. I've been following MB since day one and am just now discovering the joy of reading everyones comments/feedback... so many amazing people out here sharing. (: Thanks Haley, you work is always a highlight of my week.
I love that these terms help exercise self awareness. I often see and note these human patterns but have never tried naming it. I was watching an episode of Downton Abbey where Miss Patmore points out Daisy's classic refusal towards men who like her- but her behaviour changes when they deviate their interest from her. And I thought, at some level, people who perhaps not consider themselves as worthy to be liked, or are not used to any attention, could reflect detachment and can come across as rude. I know I can never take a compliment well, I never know how to respond. It's almost as if I am disabled to receive appreciation at times. A sweet-sour experience.
This is one of the best things I’ve read in such a long time and I am so glad I came across it. I felt every one of these - especially Starr-Nicholas effect and elastic mood. My partner could be considered one of the “corniest” people I’ve ever met - in fact when we met and were falling in love I couldn’t believe he was actually saying some of what he was saying! Like, real people don’t actually declare their love like people do in the movies, surely? Turns out - they do, and he’s one of them. He still does it now, so it wasn’t just some “trying to get the girl” affair at the beginning, and I’ve come to realise that it’s because he just feels life in a very romantic and floral way. It’s beautiful really. I’d always wanted to be with someone authentically romantic like “in the Nicholas Sparks” movies, and then when he came along I was totally dubious because it felt “too perfect”. Definitely Starr-Nicholas haha. But pleased to say I’ve settled into the loveliness of it now.
This post just killed me with goodness, truth, and hilarity. Choked and laughed out coffee over ‘logical cover story’. All of these are spot on. Thank you.
I’ve heard elastic mood happens because a lot of the brain doesn’t really understand time that well, and the bits that do are the complex ones that shut down under stress— so our idea of the past and future in the moment get interpreted as the actual past and future we really live through, although these are different things.
I think “the way the past and future seem in a single moment” and “the actual past and future, which consists of these moments themselves” are often mixed up and used interchangeably, in our minds and in the discourse. I’ve been a bit more able to cope with crushing moments of despair after realising this. It feels obvious now but I didn’t really notice it, and I don’t know what the word for that is either
I met a boy at a club in Rio while on a 3-week spring break trip. The number of things that had to go wrong in order for us to meet makes it seem like fate. My trip was originally planned for January, he decided to stay in Rio for longer only at the last minute, I went to that club only because someone I had just met dragged me there, I met him only because that other someone had to leave early. This boy and I spent the full three weeks together, and one particular moment really drives home the feeling of the Starr-Nicholas effect.
After spending a full day together - first at the beach, then at a museum, and finally walking around the port - we got in an uber heading toward dinner. This uber ride felt like a different dimension. The driver, who spoke no english, had on old classics like "Can't Help Falling in Love" and "Kiss to Build a Dream On," and these songs just perfectly captured this feeling of newfound love. We had nothing to worry about, and nothing on our minds but this wonderful day. As we held hands and told each other sweet things, it seemed like the songs would come in at our heels and sing those same lines we had just spoken out loud. The restaurant was far and the ride was a long one, but the entire time I could hear nothing other than the sound of his voice and the sweetness of this music. It felt like I was in a perfectly curated movie scene, and even in the moment I could not believe how perfectly ideal it all was. I am so lucky to have crossed paths with him, and though the trip is over I know moments like this will live forever.
I never knew I was a “freak for nomenclature” but after reading your article all I can think of is how I wish I had a friend who thinks as deeply as you do about what’s going on the world.
Also...could you think of a word or phrase that represents the feeling of when you are traveling and you find yourself in a place so beautiful you feel like you are dreaming because it couldn’t possibly be real/true?
expert cosplay is sooo pervasive and
something i notice so often! an example that i regretfully think of all the time is when taylor swift’s folklore album came out, which has a song called “the last great american dynasty” about the past owner of one of taylor’s vacation homes. this writer on twitter (who shall remain anonymous but has a significant following) was like, “this is actually an interesting story about so and so who lived in this house in the 1920s” and did a whole thread about her and what she was like and expounded on some of the events taylor describes in the song, as if these were facts they had learned ages ago, independently of the song, and had not just googled her like the rest of us. i was like, “yeah…i read that article about her yesterday too…” this sounds so stupid but was so annoying! or maybe it was a normal thing to do and i’m just jealous of her twitter following and my bitter bias is showing…
Fender Bender Energy! It’s what I call it when you are having one of those days where you sleep through your alarm, miss a button on your shirt, trip getting out the door, forget a phone call, miss a turn, etc etc etc and it just kind of cascades into the day creating a generally chaotic vibe around you. I love adding/coming up with new terms for things so this was an especially fun post to read.
love these, especially elastic mood. one of mine is the prom date approach: when someone's efforts to find a romantic partner is just a pursuit of someone who is equal to them on a few important social metrics (attractiveness, professional success, perceived coolness etc). Like how high schoolers select their prom date based on who in their class is their (often at this stage, at least when I was in high school) opposite sex counterpart in terms of popularity. The prom date approach mistakes someone's compatibility with your brand with their compatibility with you...though maybe this is just an overly complicated way to call someone superficial???
the tzar nicholas effect
In junior high my best friend and I came up with the term comforter club. Someone is in the comforter club if they are so tender, pure, adorable, and/or earnest that you want to wrap them in the softest, warmest comforter and squeeze them. While it’s a bit hard to describe once you know the term you also know exactly when you find someone it applies to. Members of the comforter club are rare but wonderful!
maybe this term will be controversial, but my husband & i came up with one the other day: “gossip for the greater good.” it’s when someone is using moral high ground to mask the fact that they really just want to gossip about someone else’s messy situation. ie: “she DMed me to tell me that a friend i tagged knows a dude who’s a bad guy. instead of keeping this info to herself because it has literally nothing to do with me, she wanted to gossip for the greater good.”
Also, elastic mood is something I’d written about but did not have a term for, haha. I think we’re all caught in it often
Bitter bias reminds me of a certain post by you where you talked about Kim kardashian celebrating her birthday in the middle of a pandemic and the public feeling sort of left out and criticizing her for that.
omg logical cover story is my life's work!!!
Love/relate to these terms so much! I work as a seasonal Park Ranger and elastic mood defines so much of how I talk about a particularly difficult season... I'll be so extreme to saying "worst 6 months of my life" when in reality, every season has countless ups and downs. I've been following MB since day one and am just now discovering the joy of reading everyones comments/feedback... so many amazing people out here sharing. (: Thanks Haley, you work is always a highlight of my week.
I love that these terms help exercise self awareness. I often see and note these human patterns but have never tried naming it. I was watching an episode of Downton Abbey where Miss Patmore points out Daisy's classic refusal towards men who like her- but her behaviour changes when they deviate their interest from her. And I thought, at some level, people who perhaps not consider themselves as worthy to be liked, or are not used to any attention, could reflect detachment and can come across as rude. I know I can never take a compliment well, I never know how to respond. It's almost as if I am disabled to receive appreciation at times. A sweet-sour experience.
This is one of the best things I’ve read in such a long time and I am so glad I came across it. I felt every one of these - especially Starr-Nicholas effect and elastic mood. My partner could be considered one of the “corniest” people I’ve ever met - in fact when we met and were falling in love I couldn’t believe he was actually saying some of what he was saying! Like, real people don’t actually declare their love like people do in the movies, surely? Turns out - they do, and he’s one of them. He still does it now, so it wasn’t just some “trying to get the girl” affair at the beginning, and I’ve come to realise that it’s because he just feels life in a very romantic and floral way. It’s beautiful really. I’d always wanted to be with someone authentically romantic like “in the Nicholas Sparks” movies, and then when he came along I was totally dubious because it felt “too perfect”. Definitely Starr-Nicholas haha. But pleased to say I’ve settled into the loveliness of it now.
LOVED reading this. Please share more.