(84 mins) | Today I brought on my favorite sad girl, Nora Taylor, to discuss melancholy, sadness, and depression, as explored in my last newsletter, #32: Stimulants. But it’s also fun! Nora is an editor at Clever for Architectural Digest. We met at Man Repeller (where she wrote about things like Sauce Men, the Caesar haircut, and Tom Hanks) and initially bonded over our love of Phoebe Bridgers (yes…that’s me and Avi coving “Smoke Signals” for today’s intro song…lol!). Nora is a strange bird whom I truly cherish and I’m livid that I forgot to ask her about her dream of being a mailwoman. Here we are just before our “writers retreat” upstate in 2018—a very special story we save for the end:
Wow Nora's description of job hunting while you're employed and so over your current job- that's so true for me. Add the pandemic uncertainty and not know if it's better to keep stability or find something more fulfilling. Thanks for talking about being sad with all of us!
I very much enjoyed this podcast and immediately went on to make a "sad girl looking out the train window" playlist to listen to while dipping into some self-indulgent melancholy, which somehow feels vaguely pleasurable and a change of pace from the general crushing depression of day-to-day living, which I didnt even realise was what I needed until (once again) you articulated my feelings better than I ever could myself. Tragic that change of pace these days just comes from different flavours of sad. Oh well! I also really enjoyed Nora's essay about her hands and your Phoebe cover. Excellent content all round tbh, thanks for sharing!
Love this convo! It did have an ASMR vibe. I would 100% join the collective of “old and young.” Those relationships are so fulfilling for both sides. If you figure this out, let us know.
Also synagogs always have better back rooms than churches for some reason. Maybe Jews are scrappier? I think the 25% Jew gives you license to seek that as a location.
Still in the middle of this pod (really speaking to me this week, a particularly melancholy one) and needed to pause after hearing you speak about how we always enjoy planning vacations more than actually going on them. There is a field of science you might be interested in called affective forecasting — the science of how we predict our emotions. The long and short of it is that we are bad at doing this, both in predicting the duration and the intensity of our future emotions, because we are biased by our current circumstances and because we come back to our emotional “set point” from the extremes pretty easily. The fact that we’re not great at this has an impact on our decision-making as well as our emotional state. It’s an interesting idea to consider alongside the current pandemic-related environmental factors that contribute to melancholy or depression, when so much of this time feels like we’re living at the extremes. If you’re interested in this field, I recommend the book Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert!
!!! thrilled you're happy about a long runtime. every bit of podcasting advice is like "do whatever you want as long as it's not over 30 mins"...lol, whoops! thanks for listening, lots of love back to london!
"you dress so reguLAH" was the best line
"You couldn't dress more regulah if you tried!"
Wow Nora's description of job hunting while you're employed and so over your current job- that's so true for me. Add the pandemic uncertainty and not know if it's better to keep stability or find something more fulfilling. Thanks for talking about being sad with all of us!
Yes I thought that was so wise!!
Oh god, I haven't listened to the thing yet but that Smoke Signals bit at the beginning sounds lovely!!! 🥰
Hahaha omg thank you!!! My singing debut 😂 All credit to Avi for learning songs on his guitar so quickly!
I very much enjoyed this podcast and immediately went on to make a "sad girl looking out the train window" playlist to listen to while dipping into some self-indulgent melancholy, which somehow feels vaguely pleasurable and a change of pace from the general crushing depression of day-to-day living, which I didnt even realise was what I needed until (once again) you articulated my feelings better than I ever could myself. Tragic that change of pace these days just comes from different flavours of sad. Oh well! I also really enjoyed Nora's essay about her hands and your Phoebe cover. Excellent content all round tbh, thanks for sharing!
"different flavors of sad" so dark and true, lol (and thank you!!)
Love this convo! It did have an ASMR vibe. I would 100% join the collective of “old and young.” Those relationships are so fulfilling for both sides. If you figure this out, let us know.
WILL DO
Also synagogs always have better back rooms than churches for some reason. Maybe Jews are scrappier? I think the 25% Jew gives you license to seek that as a location.
Still in the middle of this pod (really speaking to me this week, a particularly melancholy one) and needed to pause after hearing you speak about how we always enjoy planning vacations more than actually going on them. There is a field of science you might be interested in called affective forecasting — the science of how we predict our emotions. The long and short of it is that we are bad at doing this, both in predicting the duration and the intensity of our future emotions, because we are biased by our current circumstances and because we come back to our emotional “set point” from the extremes pretty easily. The fact that we’re not great at this has an impact on our decision-making as well as our emotional state. It’s an interesting idea to consider alongside the current pandemic-related environmental factors that contribute to melancholy or depression, when so much of this time feels like we’re living at the extremes. If you’re interested in this field, I recommend the book Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert!
I can't wait to read up on this, thanks! Seems it's adjacent to the hedonic treadmill
eeeeeek, almost an hour and a half of content from Haley!!! so excited
now to decide if i binge it on my dark after-work walk or if i keep i savor it for tomorrow morning’s walk :-)
lots of love from a huge admirer in London
!!! thrilled you're happy about a long runtime. every bit of podcasting advice is like "do whatever you want as long as it's not over 30 mins"...lol, whoops! thanks for listening, lots of love back to london!
the longer the better (but only when it comes to ur pod hehehe) 💕
So timely - thank you thank you
Also link the shampoo or else ;-)
Breaking for lunch immediately after introductions is big Taurus energy. This episode gave me exactly what I needed this week, thank you!!
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/11/kiese-laymon-on-fleetwood-mac-and-hope-for-the-future
This article made me feel safe in a way i haven’t felt since September. Perhaps it will have the same effect for you <3
What is the name of Nora’s sad lamp? I’m intrigued!
Just asked her! Will get back
It's Verilux! https://verilux.com/collections/happylight-therapy-lamps-boxes
Omg those sweats