(88 mins) | This week I brought on my good friend and brilliant writer T Wise to talk about the themes in my last newsletter, #27: The pain/pleasure paradox. I met T when I was his editor at Man Repeller, and every time we published one of his essays people would comment “MORE OF THIS PLEASE!!!!” And I agree. Today we discuss everything from death to Judaism, gender, The Vow, and (dare I say it) cancel culture. Our conversation wraps around 1 hour 15 minutes, at which point I do an audio reading of the newsletter.So skip that if you already read it! In the future I may break out the audio readings, so thanks for dealing in the meantime.
T Wise is a deep dude. I really enjoyed this episodes and his musings were so thought provoking. What a bunch of lucky Jewish adolescents hanging out with him.
Hi Haley, I was also thinking about death recently (this year more than usual). The reason — I was working in an ad agency and we were making a social media report for one of our clients. One of the metrics we were discussing was the amount of lost followers on Facebook. Among other things this metric calculates the profiles which were deleted because they were either inactive, fake or the person has died.
I started thinking about the ownership of our profiles when/if we pass away. It's like treasure chest with all of our intimate and private conversations, truth and thoughts about parents, friends, partners. Infinite parallel stories. Facebook has this option — legacy contact: https://www.facebook.com/help/1568013990080948 — I already chose my legacy contact and it is my best friend. Not my partner. Not my sister.
So, my question to you is who would be your legacy contact and what are your thoughts on the amount of private information our personal chats hold.
Hi Haley! This was an amazing episode with so many good conversation point. I have always had that disposition to be existentially despondent, so I felt like this conversation soothed my soul 🙂. It was nice to hear a conversation that really dove in to so many tangents about these thoughts of loneliness, lack of fitting into groups, etc.
I had a lot of thoughts, so I'm trying to figure out what to type out in this comment:
1) Firstly, thanks for your writing and your thoughts and your conversations. I'm so grateful for finding your work (years ago now!) and being able to follow along (and pretend we're friends 😅 in my mind)
2) About this episode: I'm Catholic and my faith is a central pillar of my life. However, I am a socially liberal Catholic (and most of my friends aren't religious), and I have so many times found myself feeling 'trapped' in the middle of different groups' thinking. The weird thing is I feel that I'm able to deeply understand both religious and secular people's points and motivations pretty deeply. And I see how groups can be at odds, but I also see the goodness in both (well, talking about people I know and have encountered personally lol). Anywaaay, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by loneliness, since I am unable to squarely fit in any group. Though I know that I wouldn't want to lose the nuance of understanding both. I think I've lately been feeling more positive, since realizing that anyone ever 'truly' 'completely' fitting into any group is basically impossible. So I am feeling a bit better about embracing what sometimes feels like limbo/sadness.
I think the episode with Amalie and this episode have added to that conversation in my mind. So, thank you for that!
3) On a different note, I LOVED hearing T's perspectives that are so educated by Judaism. I particularly loved the 'wrestling' with beliefs/God idea (I forget the exact wording). I feel strongly that faith/ tradition should be questioned, and that questioning can be uncomfortable, but that's how we get to more deeply understand and live by the principles we believe in. Aaah I could go on and on with this thought...
I'll leave it at that, but again thanks for your writing!!
Hi Haley, thanks for your work. Even though I only subscribed a few weeks ago, the newsletter & podcast have already firmly established themselves as highlights of my routine. I was wondering about the writing seminar you mentioned this week. I'm interested in taking a personal essay / general non-fiction workshop or class and was wondering if you have any recommendations. Cheers, Lily
T Wise is very wise
T Wise is a deep dude. I really enjoyed this episodes and his musings were so thought provoking. What a bunch of lucky Jewish adolescents hanging out with him.
Hi Haley, I was also thinking about death recently (this year more than usual). The reason — I was working in an ad agency and we were making a social media report for one of our clients. One of the metrics we were discussing was the amount of lost followers on Facebook. Among other things this metric calculates the profiles which were deleted because they were either inactive, fake or the person has died.
I started thinking about the ownership of our profiles when/if we pass away. It's like treasure chest with all of our intimate and private conversations, truth and thoughts about parents, friends, partners. Infinite parallel stories. Facebook has this option — legacy contact: https://www.facebook.com/help/1568013990080948 — I already chose my legacy contact and it is my best friend. Not my partner. Not my sister.
So, my question to you is who would be your legacy contact and what are your thoughts on the amount of private information our personal chats hold.
Sorry for this morbid questions,
M.
Hi Haley! This was an amazing episode with so many good conversation point. I have always had that disposition to be existentially despondent, so I felt like this conversation soothed my soul 🙂. It was nice to hear a conversation that really dove in to so many tangents about these thoughts of loneliness, lack of fitting into groups, etc.
I had a lot of thoughts, so I'm trying to figure out what to type out in this comment:
1) Firstly, thanks for your writing and your thoughts and your conversations. I'm so grateful for finding your work (years ago now!) and being able to follow along (and pretend we're friends 😅 in my mind)
2) About this episode: I'm Catholic and my faith is a central pillar of my life. However, I am a socially liberal Catholic (and most of my friends aren't religious), and I have so many times found myself feeling 'trapped' in the middle of different groups' thinking. The weird thing is I feel that I'm able to deeply understand both religious and secular people's points and motivations pretty deeply. And I see how groups can be at odds, but I also see the goodness in both (well, talking about people I know and have encountered personally lol). Anywaaay, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by loneliness, since I am unable to squarely fit in any group. Though I know that I wouldn't want to lose the nuance of understanding both. I think I've lately been feeling more positive, since realizing that anyone ever 'truly' 'completely' fitting into any group is basically impossible. So I am feeling a bit better about embracing what sometimes feels like limbo/sadness.
I think the episode with Amalie and this episode have added to that conversation in my mind. So, thank you for that!
3) On a different note, I LOVED hearing T's perspectives that are so educated by Judaism. I particularly loved the 'wrestling' with beliefs/God idea (I forget the exact wording). I feel strongly that faith/ tradition should be questioned, and that questioning can be uncomfortable, but that's how we get to more deeply understand and live by the principles we believe in. Aaah I could go on and on with this thought...
I'll leave it at that, but again thanks for your writing!!
Hi Haley, thanks for your work. Even though I only subscribed a few weeks ago, the newsletter & podcast have already firmly established themselves as highlights of my routine. I was wondering about the writing seminar you mentioned this week. I'm interested in taking a personal essay / general non-fiction workshop or class and was wondering if you have any recommendations. Cheers, Lily