(65 mins) | Today I brought on my parents to discuss what it’s like to read my writing when it involves them (or parts of my life I might not otherwise share with them). I also brought on Amalie MacGowan, my friend and former Man Repeller colleague, to talk about her experience writing about her complicated childhood, including what led to her at one point pulling a story within an hour of publishing.
This was a fantastic episode. I know you're aiming to keep these shorter, but each ep is truly so interesting and entertaining. I honestly could have listened to you talk to both Amalie and your parents for so much longer!
after hearing you name Maybe Baby readers and listeners as a community, i felt inclined to participate in comment sections rather than consuming your work alone (or occasionally reading emails out loud to my partner as i refer to you as "my other best friend haley"). existing within a community is unifying, and is also perhaps an understated benefit to a paid or comped subscription, particularly as - i know i'm not alone - it's both difficult to make friends as an adult, and it's harder still within the confines of 2020. in relation to amalie's segment, the parallel between her experience growing up in the christian science church and first gen experiences was really enlightening! i really admire the ability of writers' to make themselves so vulnerable for their audiences, especially when i hear it within the context of, "maybe having this out here will help others feel less alone."
Very into the idea of a recurring Nahman parents segment (& Amalie too, for that matter). Have you considered recording a video of the pod for youtube? There were so many moments I found myself wishing I could see the conversation in addition to hearing it. Regardless, listening this week was a real pick-me-up -- thanks Haley & friends!
So much love for Amalie! I remember reading the now-deleted piece you talk about here, and I was actually just thinking about it yesterday when I saw the (very, very cute) photos she posted on her Instagram with her new partner. As someone who also grew up in a religious family and came out after leaving home, seeing the post made me feel like we probably have some similar stories. I know that there are barriers in the way of writing about those things (and maybe it's ultimately not worth the stress??), but I look forward to reading more of her work in the future.
I follow both Amalie and you on Instagram. Given how social media encourages us to restrict our identity to 140 characters, it is always such a privilege to know strangers beyond filtered photographs, especially ones I have grown to adore.
I am here on a complimentary subscription and I feel so grateful for it, thank you!
It's so fascinating to hear your parents be so reflective about you and who you are as a person, and recall so much detail about you and your life. It seems like they really *perceive* you! That's such a gift, and was (sorry, this is a bit sad and awkward) really surprising? It hasn't been my experience of my parents or my friends' parents. It's nice to know this dynamic exists and was so very wonderful to listen to :) Just started listening to the podcast in earnest and am really enjoying it!
I was pretty surprised to hear you call people "manipulative" for not wanting to be written about. Maybe I'm just a more private person, but I completely get someone not wanting to be written about (even in a kind, generous way) and be forever online. I think saying, "I don't want to be involved/written about" is a totally reasonable thing to say, and I actually think it's great that Amalie's ex was so upfront with his preference. I also get that this could be restrictive/hard to navigate from your/other writers' perspectives, but I guess I see that as just something people who write personal pieces need to be okay with navigating?
It is comforting to hear a shared experience of being raised in a highly conservative religion. Being raised in the Mormon church, I related a lot to Amalie's experience with guilt around masturbation. I could go on about my frustration and sadness about not being taught what a healthy sex life is, and being put in uncomfortable situations having to talk to adult men I don't know about my sexual discrepancies as a teenage girl and adult woman. I've seen so many people in the Mormon faith struggle with darker more complicated sexual desires/relationships because they were oppressed for so long in that way. My fiance and I, both inactive members of the LDS church, struggle to fight resentment towards our parents while still feeling grateful for all the wonderful things they've shared with us.
Oh Haley.. this was my favourite maybe baby pod episode so far! I have read some Amalie pieces I think but I’ve never really “paid attention” to her as I did to you-Harling-Amelia-Leandra, maybe cause you 4 were the ones more front and center when I started reading?This is just to contextualize that I was soo touched by her participation! I can’t relate to her religious experience, but I just wanna hug her now. It was also a pleasant surprise when after talking about an ex boyfriend she started talking about her current (female) partner - been there done that, so I felt a more profound kinship in that moment.
Last but not least, your parents are adorable and so is your relationship. It made me miss mine more than I already do.
This was a fantastic episode. I know you're aiming to keep these shorter, but each ep is truly so interesting and entertaining. I honestly could have listened to you talk to both Amalie and your parents for so much longer!
Omg thank you!!! This makes me happy to hear
after hearing you name Maybe Baby readers and listeners as a community, i felt inclined to participate in comment sections rather than consuming your work alone (or occasionally reading emails out loud to my partner as i refer to you as "my other best friend haley"). existing within a community is unifying, and is also perhaps an understated benefit to a paid or comped subscription, particularly as - i know i'm not alone - it's both difficult to make friends as an adult, and it's harder still within the confines of 2020. in relation to amalie's segment, the parallel between her experience growing up in the christian science church and first gen experiences was really enlightening! i really admire the ability of writers' to make themselves so vulnerable for their audiences, especially when i hear it within the context of, "maybe having this out here will help others feel less alone."
You are so sweet for this comment. Thank you Kalila!!! Really happy to have you here
Well said.
Very into the idea of a recurring Nahman parents segment (& Amalie too, for that matter). Have you considered recording a video of the pod for youtube? There were so many moments I found myself wishing I could see the conversation in addition to hearing it. Regardless, listening this week was a real pick-me-up -- thanks Haley & friends!
That's a nice idea!! Will think on it, thank you!
So much love for Amalie! I remember reading the now-deleted piece you talk about here, and I was actually just thinking about it yesterday when I saw the (very, very cute) photos she posted on her Instagram with her new partner. As someone who also grew up in a religious family and came out after leaving home, seeing the post made me feel like we probably have some similar stories. I know that there are barriers in the way of writing about those things (and maybe it's ultimately not worth the stress??), but I look forward to reading more of her work in the future.
:’) thank you for this, totally agree!!
I follow both Amalie and you on Instagram. Given how social media encourages us to restrict our identity to 140 characters, it is always such a privilege to know strangers beyond filtered photographs, especially ones I have grown to adore.
I am here on a complimentary subscription and I feel so grateful for it, thank you!
It's so fascinating to hear your parents be so reflective about you and who you are as a person, and recall so much detail about you and your life. It seems like they really *perceive* you! That's such a gift, and was (sorry, this is a bit sad and awkward) really surprising? It hasn't been my experience of my parents or my friends' parents. It's nice to know this dynamic exists and was so very wonderful to listen to :) Just started listening to the podcast in earnest and am really enjoying it!
Touched by this compliment about my parents, I feel very lucky!
Your parents are delightful, and it totally makes sense how you are too!
I was pretty surprised to hear you call people "manipulative" for not wanting to be written about. Maybe I'm just a more private person, but I completely get someone not wanting to be written about (even in a kind, generous way) and be forever online. I think saying, "I don't want to be involved/written about" is a totally reasonable thing to say, and I actually think it's great that Amalie's ex was so upfront with his preference. I also get that this could be restrictive/hard to navigate from your/other writers' perspectives, but I guess I see that as just something people who write personal pieces need to be okay with navigating?
It is comforting to hear a shared experience of being raised in a highly conservative religion. Being raised in the Mormon church, I related a lot to Amalie's experience with guilt around masturbation. I could go on about my frustration and sadness about not being taught what a healthy sex life is, and being put in uncomfortable situations having to talk to adult men I don't know about my sexual discrepancies as a teenage girl and adult woman. I've seen so many people in the Mormon faith struggle with darker more complicated sexual desires/relationships because they were oppressed for so long in that way. My fiance and I, both inactive members of the LDS church, struggle to fight resentment towards our parents while still feeling grateful for all the wonderful things they've shared with us.
Oh Haley.. this was my favourite maybe baby pod episode so far! I have read some Amalie pieces I think but I’ve never really “paid attention” to her as I did to you-Harling-Amelia-Leandra, maybe cause you 4 were the ones more front and center when I started reading?This is just to contextualize that I was soo touched by her participation! I can’t relate to her religious experience, but I just wanna hug her now. It was also a pleasant surprise when after talking about an ex boyfriend she started talking about her current (female) partner - been there done that, so I felt a more profound kinship in that moment.
Last but not least, your parents are adorable and so is your relationship. It made me miss mine more than I already do.