Have you ever thought about walking while you’re doing it? For some reason I attempted to this morning and was startled by how stubbornly subconscious the motion was. Even when I tried to observe the feeling of it—of lifting my knees and swinging my legs—it escaped me over and over. My brain and body felt almost disconnected, numb, like when I smile after novacaine. It made me think that, if I lost the ability to walk and had to relearn, the motion would seem entirely alien to me.
Loved your reflections on all of the reflexive things our bodies do & senses we have. I have been thinking about this all summer in the context of observing my now 10-week old daughter. It’s amazing watching her gain her senses and discover her body — the opposite of the loss you describe via Sacks. Last week she started holding her left fist very still in the air and staring at it. IMAGINE DISCOVERING YOUR OWN HAND!! It’s all (quite literally) awesome to observe as her mom, and I was interested to think through your analysis of all this from the other side (ie not the baby-centric zone I live in now).
I'm always grateful for Maybe Baby but this week's song choice and that James Baldwin interview really pinched my heart in the best, albeit most painful ways. Actually, I find a lot of the topics you write about can be disheartening but I still leave the email feeling comforted more than anything. So thanks for that!
One, this line belongs on a tee-shirt: "There is so much more to us than our lack of antibodies or weekend plans". And two, I love the overall tone of this essay and the (subjectively useless) pondering of the marvel that is the human body. Every time I'm sick or injured, I always think about this a little extra. Like, why can't I appreciate all of the magic my body is creating a daily basis just for the sake of keeping me alive? There's an entire Universe alive under our skin, and it's difficult to consider, let alone to praise, when it's working well. These days, I try to say "thank you" to my body at least once a day. It really is a miracle.
Yes that is such a healthy and nice way to think about it. I try to appreciate that too but then also sometimes hate thinking about my body because why must I have organs and bones??
I’ve been thinking about my brain’s relationship to my body and feeling guilty that I have basically given up on strengthening that relationship specifically by exercising. This week’s newsletter is a wake-up call that my body deserves better and that I should act more grateful toward it!
Also, have you read Insomniac City? It’s not very long and made me cry on my commute to work lol.
This is so belated (I'm playing catch up reading your last three newsletters, starting with this one), but I really enjoyed the section of this newsletter where you discussed Oliver Sacks, proprioception and "the disembodied woman." As always, great writing and great content! Also as a kind of a weird fun fact: I've heard from multiple chiropractors that "cracking" your toes and fingers actually helps improve proprioception. Who knew!
Hi just rereading this and feel compelled to mention that Oliver Sacks was also a top bodybuilder in his younger days. He was known as 'Dr. Squat', FOR REAL.
"We just eat pizza and complain about something our boss said while our tongue is doing a performance of a fucking lifetime." Hahaha, imagined my tongue in a top hat putting on a SHOW
This was a super interesting newsletter and something that I think it is so easy to forget about - the miracle of the human body and all that it can do without us even realising. I also enjoyed the link to the article about smell - as someone with no sense of smell i am OBSESSED with reading peoples' descriptions of scents and smells, also reading perfume reviews and descriptions on scented candles and things. I have never had a sense of smell so it is really comforting to be able to almost imagine what that is like! Also, really enjoying the comments section this week - lots of interesting takes and links.
On the topic of tenderness, I would recommend this piece of poetry/performance art/manifesto called "Radical Tenderness." It's a gorgeous piece of writing that helped me end a longterm relationship. By embracing what it defines as "radically tender" I was able to understand what the partnership lacked. I have not found that partnership yet, but I now have this document as a way to help myself define what I need from friends and romantic partners. It's also a politically charged document that feels incredibly relevant right now. Here is a link with pdfs in several different languages: https://danidemilia.com/radical-tenderness/ Hope you enjoy!
After the first few lines of this I was going to recommend Oliver Sacks and specifically mention Christina, seems like you already had it covered though. Can I recommend Thomas Metzinger? He's a philosopher who works a lot with neuroscience. There are quite a few really great talks with him on YouTube, including his Ted Talk, and also this one:
where he talks a lot about patients with phantom limbs, etc. You might have heard of the rubber hand experiment, where someone strokes both your hand and a prosthetic hand with a brush, and after a while you feel like the rubber hand is your hand. (I also love his anecdote about his hitchhiking mishap at the beginning of the talk). There's another long talk with him and Ray Brassier, where he talks about neuroplasticity in the end, the way the brain can be changed by subjecting it to different stuff - like the effect of smartphones on attention span, etc.
I also find it amazing to observe what's going on intellectually when learning a language. Cause there's (unscientifically) this little jerk sitting in your brain, like that guy who was always at the front of the class and (thinks he) has all the answers. This guy thinks he's doing all the work, he's all "I'm such a good grammar guy!" and unpacking his Baby's First Etymology kit coming out with just the stupidest shit. And actually all the heavy lifting is happening elsewhere in the brain. I've been learning Japanese for the last couple of years, and the moment where a new grammatical structure snaps into focus is quite distinct from the moment where I actually sort of parse the grammar (which I never really sit down and learn rotely as I would fall asleep within like 20 minutes of starting, which is where *the jerk* would probably shine if the lil fucker would just sit down and pay attention). I'm also trying to help my partner learn French, and I find myself telling them to try and "feel" the grammar before they try to understand it. But I think what we shove under the heading of "feeling" or "intuition" is basically a whole lot of intellectual work that's just not done by *the jerk* (I mean mine's a jerk, yours might not be).
Which, I think a lot of our political thinking on the left can get incredibly narrow, because we think the only way people really make stuff or do stuff or believe stuff that's not natural or instinct, is social construction, which has turned into this catch-all phrase. But it's a very specific thing, which means that society constructs, over time - that's definitely not the only way in which we learn or absorb information, let alone how we act on the world. And as you say, there's so much more to us than our lack of antibodies or weekend plans - and there's so much more to us, generally, than precise tallies and weigh-offs of our oppression and suffering, or consuming. And I think on the left, because we're so fixated on oppression and consumerism, we can't remember why people make music or literature or art, or how we engage with something other than by consuming it. Because the internet has completely perfected the attention economy into this money machine operating at dizzying speed, it's like we're losing the very memory that there was another way to engage with other people's work. Which is terrifying, because we're going to need to remember that fast, if we want to survive the demise of the market economy.
On a totally different note, have you seen the nasal swab comic HTMLFlowers did for Vice years ago? Didn't want to link it because it's NSFW (though, in the words of the American judge who ruled James Joyce fit for publication, the effect is "emetic rather than erotic"). Def has that "wtf did I just read?!" quality of the best comics though.
Didn’t realize sense of smell is so strongly linked to memory, but as someone who can’t smell herself (and has a shitty memory), it makes sense! I also endorse there are not a lot of words to describe smells, I often ask close friends to describe the smell they just got a whiff of, and I think it’s harder than you think. Describing a perfume as “floral”, for example, helps not at all since I don’t know what flowers smell
Never had it - I have a deviated septum which sometimes results in loss of smell. I know there is a surgery you can have that could fix it but had to be older than 23. I‘m closing in on 24 now but honestly, maybe because I’ve never had the sense that I don’t feel like I’m missing much. There have often been more negative smells described to me than positive ones. But Swamy’s piece definitely made me reconsider what I might be missing.
Wow, what a wild thing to consider (gaining a sense!). I would never trade good smells in order to lose bad smells, if that’s of any use to you. I can imagine it being so strange to consider whether or not you want something you can’t quite understand. I’ve thought about this before with my friend who is color blind—he can’t see reds. And I privately find this a little devastating (red!!!) but he just doesn’t care. I guess it’s for the best to not know if you can’t ever change it. If you ever decide the surgery seems worth it to you, I can only imagine the essay you could write!!!
Tbh the nice smells are nice, but the bad smells are often hilarious. Have you ever seen a cat walk into a room after using its litter tray or just farting, so proud of what it just did in there? Like, dogs are all "I didn't do it", but cats are like "smell it and worship me bitch".
Or smells can be confusing AF like durian, the first time you smell it you're like, that smells so weird and bad I think I can see through time. But after you've tasted it, it starts to smell kind of appetizing.
So if you have the opportunity to have that surgery, it's worth it.
I bought “The man who mistook his wife for a hat” earlier this year, now I can’t wait to get to it! Also that featured song gave me flashbacks of watching Grey’s Anatomy lol. Loved that reflection on the “invisible orchestra”, for me it elicits both awe and anxiety when I think about it.
LOL @ grey’s anatomy! I used to love that song in college, totally forgot about it until recently. Good luck with The Man Who Mistook His Wife! It’s gets a little technical/scientific in parts, if that drags for you feel free to skim those. Btw my favorite Sacks book I’ve read is River of Consciousness, which was published after his death and is considered his final attempt to bring all his passions together.
the last dance is sooo good! I (a person with no interest in sports) loved it so much. it's so good on masculinity, race, fame, pop-culture ugh...scottie pippen <3
Totally read that first line wrong (“Have you ever thought about walking while doing it?”).... alas this is an insightful MB as always
Hahaha
Would recommend the book 'Insomniac City' by Bill Hayes - a love letter to Oliver & New York!
Really enjoyed Insomniac City!
Loved your reflections on all of the reflexive things our bodies do & senses we have. I have been thinking about this all summer in the context of observing my now 10-week old daughter. It’s amazing watching her gain her senses and discover her body — the opposite of the loss you describe via Sacks. Last week she started holding her left fist very still in the air and staring at it. IMAGINE DISCOVERING YOUR OWN HAND!! It’s all (quite literally) awesome to observe as her mom, and I was interested to think through your analysis of all this from the other side (ie not the baby-centric zone I live in now).
Didn’t think of this but love it! So fun to watch babies learn these things 😭
I'm always grateful for Maybe Baby but this week's song choice and that James Baldwin interview really pinched my heart in the best, albeit most painful ways. Actually, I find a lot of the topics you write about can be disheartening but I still leave the email feeling comforted more than anything. So thanks for that!
One, this line belongs on a tee-shirt: "There is so much more to us than our lack of antibodies or weekend plans". And two, I love the overall tone of this essay and the (subjectively useless) pondering of the marvel that is the human body. Every time I'm sick or injured, I always think about this a little extra. Like, why can't I appreciate all of the magic my body is creating a daily basis just for the sake of keeping me alive? There's an entire Universe alive under our skin, and it's difficult to consider, let alone to praise, when it's working well. These days, I try to say "thank you" to my body at least once a day. It really is a miracle.
Yes that is such a healthy and nice way to think about it. I try to appreciate that too but then also sometimes hate thinking about my body because why must I have organs and bones??
I’ve been thinking about my brain’s relationship to my body and feeling guilty that I have basically given up on strengthening that relationship specifically by exercising. This week’s newsletter is a wake-up call that my body deserves better and that I should act more grateful toward it!
Also, have you read Insomniac City? It’s not very long and made me cry on my commute to work lol.
Yes I did read insomniac city! Earlier this year actually. Such a sweet book
This is so belated (I'm playing catch up reading your last three newsletters, starting with this one), but I really enjoyed the section of this newsletter where you discussed Oliver Sacks, proprioception and "the disembodied woman." As always, great writing and great content! Also as a kind of a weird fun fact: I've heard from multiple chiropractors that "cracking" your toes and fingers actually helps improve proprioception. Who knew!
Whoa!! I hope that's true!
Hi just rereading this and feel compelled to mention that Oliver Sacks was also a top bodybuilder in his younger days. He was known as 'Dr. Squat', FOR REAL.
omg had to google this bc I didnt believe it
"We just eat pizza and complain about something our boss said while our tongue is doing a performance of a fucking lifetime." Hahaha, imagined my tongue in a top hat putting on a SHOW
This was a super interesting newsletter and something that I think it is so easy to forget about - the miracle of the human body and all that it can do without us even realising. I also enjoyed the link to the article about smell - as someone with no sense of smell i am OBSESSED with reading peoples' descriptions of scents and smells, also reading perfume reviews and descriptions on scented candles and things. I have never had a sense of smell so it is really comforting to be able to almost imagine what that is like! Also, really enjoying the comments section this week - lots of interesting takes and links.
Thank you for sharing Shirley Temple King, I love.
On the topic of tenderness, I would recommend this piece of poetry/performance art/manifesto called "Radical Tenderness." It's a gorgeous piece of writing that helped me end a longterm relationship. By embracing what it defines as "radically tender" I was able to understand what the partnership lacked. I have not found that partnership yet, but I now have this document as a way to help myself define what I need from friends and romantic partners. It's also a politically charged document that feels incredibly relevant right now. Here is a link with pdfs in several different languages: https://danidemilia.com/radical-tenderness/ Hope you enjoy!
Thank you so much for this! Can't wait to read
After the first few lines of this I was going to recommend Oliver Sacks and specifically mention Christina, seems like you already had it covered though. Can I recommend Thomas Metzinger? He's a philosopher who works a lot with neuroscience. There are quite a few really great talks with him on YouTube, including his Ted Talk, and also this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mthDxnFXs9k&list=PL-axo6oE34F72hTNJi8QHSU55JksBIedS&index=52&t=0s
where he talks a lot about patients with phantom limbs, etc. You might have heard of the rubber hand experiment, where someone strokes both your hand and a prosthetic hand with a brush, and after a while you feel like the rubber hand is your hand. (I also love his anecdote about his hitchhiking mishap at the beginning of the talk). There's another long talk with him and Ray Brassier, where he talks about neuroplasticity in the end, the way the brain can be changed by subjecting it to different stuff - like the effect of smartphones on attention span, etc.
I also find it amazing to observe what's going on intellectually when learning a language. Cause there's (unscientifically) this little jerk sitting in your brain, like that guy who was always at the front of the class and (thinks he) has all the answers. This guy thinks he's doing all the work, he's all "I'm such a good grammar guy!" and unpacking his Baby's First Etymology kit coming out with just the stupidest shit. And actually all the heavy lifting is happening elsewhere in the brain. I've been learning Japanese for the last couple of years, and the moment where a new grammatical structure snaps into focus is quite distinct from the moment where I actually sort of parse the grammar (which I never really sit down and learn rotely as I would fall asleep within like 20 minutes of starting, which is where *the jerk* would probably shine if the lil fucker would just sit down and pay attention). I'm also trying to help my partner learn French, and I find myself telling them to try and "feel" the grammar before they try to understand it. But I think what we shove under the heading of "feeling" or "intuition" is basically a whole lot of intellectual work that's just not done by *the jerk* (I mean mine's a jerk, yours might not be).
Which, I think a lot of our political thinking on the left can get incredibly narrow, because we think the only way people really make stuff or do stuff or believe stuff that's not natural or instinct, is social construction, which has turned into this catch-all phrase. But it's a very specific thing, which means that society constructs, over time - that's definitely not the only way in which we learn or absorb information, let alone how we act on the world. And as you say, there's so much more to us than our lack of antibodies or weekend plans - and there's so much more to us, generally, than precise tallies and weigh-offs of our oppression and suffering, or consuming. And I think on the left, because we're so fixated on oppression and consumerism, we can't remember why people make music or literature or art, or how we engage with something other than by consuming it. Because the internet has completely perfected the attention economy into this money machine operating at dizzying speed, it's like we're losing the very memory that there was another way to engage with other people's work. Which is terrifying, because we're going to need to remember that fast, if we want to survive the demise of the market economy.
On a totally different note, have you seen the nasal swab comic HTMLFlowers did for Vice years ago? Didn't want to link it because it's NSFW (though, in the words of the American judge who ruled James Joyce fit for publication, the effect is "emetic rather than erotic"). Def has that "wtf did I just read?!" quality of the best comics though.
This is such a compelling way of looking at things! Will definitely look up Metzinger!
Didn’t realize sense of smell is so strongly linked to memory, but as someone who can’t smell herself (and has a shitty memory), it makes sense! I also endorse there are not a lot of words to describe smells, I often ask close friends to describe the smell they just got a whiff of, and I think it’s harder than you think. Describing a perfume as “floral”, for example, helps not at all since I don’t know what flowers smell
like.
I would love to be there the first time you smelled a rose.
Yes so hard to describe smells! Did you lose your sense of smell or never have it? So interested in that experience
Never had it - I have a deviated septum which sometimes results in loss of smell. I know there is a surgery you can have that could fix it but had to be older than 23. I‘m closing in on 24 now but honestly, maybe because I’ve never had the sense that I don’t feel like I’m missing much. There have often been more negative smells described to me than positive ones. But Swamy’s piece definitely made me reconsider what I might be missing.
Wow, what a wild thing to consider (gaining a sense!). I would never trade good smells in order to lose bad smells, if that’s of any use to you. I can imagine it being so strange to consider whether or not you want something you can’t quite understand. I’ve thought about this before with my friend who is color blind—he can’t see reds. And I privately find this a little devastating (red!!!) but he just doesn’t care. I guess it’s for the best to not know if you can’t ever change it. If you ever decide the surgery seems worth it to you, I can only imagine the essay you could write!!!
Tbh the nice smells are nice, but the bad smells are often hilarious. Have you ever seen a cat walk into a room after using its litter tray or just farting, so proud of what it just did in there? Like, dogs are all "I didn't do it", but cats are like "smell it and worship me bitch".
Or smells can be confusing AF like durian, the first time you smell it you're like, that smells so weird and bad I think I can see through time. But after you've tasted it, it starts to smell kind of appetizing.
So if you have the opportunity to have that surgery, it's worth it.
I bought “The man who mistook his wife for a hat” earlier this year, now I can’t wait to get to it! Also that featured song gave me flashbacks of watching Grey’s Anatomy lol. Loved that reflection on the “invisible orchestra”, for me it elicits both awe and anxiety when I think about it.
LOL @ grey’s anatomy! I used to love that song in college, totally forgot about it until recently. Good luck with The Man Who Mistook His Wife! It’s gets a little technical/scientific in parts, if that drags for you feel free to skim those. Btw my favorite Sacks book I’ve read is River of Consciousness, which was published after his death and is considered his final attempt to bring all his passions together.
the last dance is sooo good! I (a person with no interest in sports) loved it so much. it's so good on masculinity, race, fame, pop-culture ugh...scottie pippen <3
Omg yes scottie pippen!!!