Thanks for everything + an update
#35
Well………….we made it. It’s the last month of 2020.
My first newsletter went out on March 29th. It was my 18th day under lockdown and I remember thinking that number sounded very serious. “The first week in quarantine was…hard,” I wrote (preciously). Today we’re in week 38. It’s been 286 days since most of us sat in a bar, went to a bad movie, loitered at a friend’s place, or any of the other inconsequential ways we used to mark time. It’s been nine months since the future seemed to offer anything but uncertainty and certain death. It’s felt like forever (in terms of emotional output) and like nothing (in terms of everything else). The year of blur.
I’ve been lucky this year for a lot of reasons, but the one I cherish most is having gotten to share it with you (here), in a place that’s remained nourishing against infinite odds. I had almost no expectations going into this newsletter and yet it’s somehow become the scaffolding around my life. Through early-pandemic paranoia and early quarantine; my nostalgia and my neighbor’s workouts; my writer’s block and my hot takes; my spirals and intrusive thoughts; my strange diversions and bouts of depression, and possibly some good times too, TBD. I want to thank you from the bottom of my little palpitating heart for reading and engaging with me so thoughtfully this year. Whether via comment, email, DM, or just reading every week, I’m so grateful for the time and energy you’ve given back to me. (I try to answer every email, but if I haven’t or didn’t, please know it wasn’t for lack of desire!)
An update
I’m going to be taking December off from Maybe Baby to give myself some rest and time to plan for 2021. To keep you company this month, and as a thank you for reading this year, I’ve unlocked all my podcasts—i.e. they’re no longer behind a paywall. I released 22 episodes this year (they drop every Tuesday), most of them exploring the topics I wrote about the previous Sunday, whether with new depth, in a new way, or from a different perspective.
The podcast originally started out as audio-readings + me monologuing about the thinking behind my ideas and recommendations (which I still plan to do from time to time). But after I invited Avi and Harling to my first guest episode on September 1st, it became the norm for me to invite on my friends to chat instead. Unlike podcasts with a more defined purpose, the tone and approach of mine changes week to week. Sometimes it’s cultural critique, sometimes it’s a more intimate, emotional conversation, other times it’s just me and a friend joking around and telling stories. It’s slightly chaotic, but in that way a fitting, and hopefully satisfying, extension of the written newsletter. The 13 episodes that have guests will likely be the most fun to listen back to (although you can find all of them on haleynahman.substack.com). Many of them include audio-readings as well. They are:
Sep 1: A very special episode featuring Avi & Harling
↳Avi and I talk about moving in together; Harling and I discuss “influencing”
Sep 8: Death & David Blaine w/ Avi
↳Avi and I discuss the importance of recklessness
Sep 15: Talking shit w/ the infamous Danny
↳Danny and I tell our favorite fashion week story, discuss 5-minute crafts
Sep 22: Unpacking Emily Ratajkowski’s feminism w/ Mallory Rice
↳Mallory and I discuss choice feminism and the response to my Emrata essay
Sep 29: Teen feelings with Amalie & my parents!
↳Amalie talks about growing up Christian Science; my parents talk about me as a child
Oct 13: Life, death, & internet haters w/ T Wise
↳T and I discuss Judaism, gender, The Vow, and cancel culture
Oct 20: The ‘Emily in Paris’ ep, w/ Avi & Harling
↳An ‘Emily in Paris’ deep-dive, featuring a custom theme song by Avi
Oct 27: Digesting internet snark w/ Alicia Kennedy
↳Alicia and I discuss public criticism and reader-funded newsletters
Nov 3: Dark & private thoughts w/ my siblings
↳My brother, sister, and I laugh about our irrational spirals and fears
Nov 10: Planet Hollywood w/ Laura Bannister
↳Laura and I discuss art, chain restaurants, and New York post-election
Nov 17: How to be sad w/ Nora Taylor
↳Nora and I discuss our sadness and the “point” of melancholy
Nov 24: Big nepotism energy w/ Avi & Harling
↳Avi and Harling are back to discuss Cazzie David’s viral essay, “Too Full to Fuck”
Dec 1: How to work w/ Catherine Saint Siena, part 1 (part 2 out this Tuesday)
↳Catherine and I discuss workism, shitty jobs, and “following your dreams”
I have one last podcast dropping on Tuesday, my last of the year. It’s about relationship doubt and deciding whether to leave or stay with a partner (fun). In 2021, future podcast episodes will once again be for paying subscribers only. As a refresher on what everyone gets: free subscribers get my Sunday newsletters; paying subscribers get my Sunday newsletters, my Tuesday podcasts, and my monthly five-part advice column, Dear Baby, which people tell me is more intense than they expected.
Speaking of subscriptions, an update on what my time off means for payments:
→If you decide to become a paying subscriber in December, the first charge won’t hit your account until January 10th, when I’m back in biz (your subscription until then will present as a free trial). But you’ll be able to access the paid archive right away, namely the 25 questions I’ve answered over the past months for Dear Baby (1, 2, 3, 4, 5). Welcome!
→If you were already a paying subscriber on December 1st, I’ve had your subscription period extended to account for my time off, meaning that whenever your current period is up, whether a month or a year, the next month will be free. For most of you this means you won’t be charged in January, when your next month cycle is “up.”
→If you’d like to give a subscription to a friend as a holiday gift (thank you! a great idea…), you can now choose to have the subscription start any time by clicking “schedule for later.” Something to consider using since I’ll be gone for the next month.
Hope that’s not too confusing. I’ll be around to answer any questions in the comments!
Thanks so much to everyone who’s become a paying subscriber of this newsletter—I genuinely cannot thank you enough for the support. It’s because of you that I’ve been able to even do it, and I appreciate that more than I can express. To that end, if you have any ideas for me to take into consideration as I plan for the year ahead, feel free to leave them in the comments below.
And to everyone, one last time: Thank you so much for reading throughout this deeply cursed year. If I may offer one holiday suggestion, it’s to get heavy into TikTok. I’ll see you in 2021.
Haley
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Thank YOU Haley! It's been so great to listen to the pod every week, my personal faves have been those with Avi and Harling, and your brother and sister. Those conversations always have me laughing out loud while I do the dishes or finish a painting, it feels like a bunch of my own friends chatting in my ears. Hope you have a restorative December and feel refreshed in the new year. I've also found myself using some of your terms in my daily life, notably 'bodega Santa', which is one of my favourite roles to assume when I'm out on a rare shop visit. The people who set up those impulse buys at the checkout really see me coming... Looking forward to having Maybe Baby back in 2021! X
Glad to read you’re taking some time to yourself to rest and recharge. Wishing you a lovely and cozy December filled with binge watching TV and lots of reading and eating. I’m so grateful to have discovered your writing during the pandemic, it has now become a source of great joy and comfort and something I reflect upon often. Thank you for creating this newsletter and for your writing; this little corner of the internet is such a lovely place. You continue to augment my thinking, alleviate loneliness, help create meaning, and inspire me. See you back in 2021!